Episode 29 - Chatting with Sue Knight

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In this episode of the choosing happy podcast, I get to speak to Sue

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Knight, author and master NLP trainer.

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She's an amazing lady with lots to share.

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All of her details and links are in the show notes.

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Come join me in this week's choosing happy podcast

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Welcome to episode 29 of the choosing happy podcast.

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I'm Heather masters.

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And today I'm delighted to have the opportunity to chat with Sue night,

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as well as being an award-winning master trainer, an LP and a true

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example of living your teaching.

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So there was also an author of several books on and out pay, including

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NLP at work, which has recently been released on audio read by Sue

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and that.

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So a number of years ago, and was immediately struck by her

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exquisite mastery of NLP coaching and provocative coaching.

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What I noticed the most is her ability to identify beliefs and

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patterns from the short conversations she has with her students.

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I've had the good fortune to interview her before, and I am really delighted

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to have the opportunity today.

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Welcome.

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Thank you very much.

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Um, we've spent time together in person as well, which is

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that the rare thing these days?

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Um,

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my voice has been croaky, so just to keep it going, but, okay.

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So it'll be gone in a minute, but just help me.

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And can you tell us more about yourself, what you do, who

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you help and how you help?

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Um, what do I do?

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What do I do?

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Basically?

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I mainly run what I call open program.

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So where people enroll individually, usually on their own behalf.

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And I have done those in many cases.

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Locations around the world.

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The last two years I will be online.

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I'm currently India.

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So it's the first time I've traveled somewhere else, even here, but going

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to be running programs online from here, but we will have some people

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at person set up the first time.

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Um, so I run programs in NLP, which is what he said in the introduction,

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your linguistic programming.

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And I do coaching, um, um, writing and yes recently recorded

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the audio book of my book

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on bicycle and I cook and I live in France and, uh, grandma.

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Um, so somebody said the hope, you know, I'm in quorum, Gina, because

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ragging India I'm fully vaccinate.

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Um, but everybody has to quarantine seven days.

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If you get the test, it's 14, if you don't quarantine seven days,

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people are hoping up boarding party.

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I mean, my days are full with writing and reading content unlike today.

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So I'm in a beautiful location, overlooking the backward.

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I could stay in quarantine forever, to be honest.

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It's just, yeah.

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I remember India being very, I was going to say interesting.

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Interesting.

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It's not the right word.

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Um, paradigm shifting experience.

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Absolutely.

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I mean, I've come here except for last year, every year, 15 years, I actually

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feel that I felt a yearning for my.

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My whole wellbeing.

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So it was a window, which I guess I have to bronze.

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It was a window, which I could gauge the UK, UK, because I went there.

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I went there to get into India.

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Fortunately, all the slots lined up and I succeeded whether I'll get back again.

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I don't know.

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It's funny.

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And it's been on my mind and.

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I've been reading a lot over the last few weeks.

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And the book I'm reading at the moment is based in India as well.

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So that was which tastes of ginger.

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And it's called.

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That sounds good.

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I'm always interested.

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I like to read to that.

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And so I probably read like by NGO or.

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I read them to learn as well as enjoy the story, to learn about culture,

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taste ginger and I'm reading books.

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What I never used to read, or I'm not used to listen to audio books,

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they just didn't appeal to me.

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But sit still one of my own.

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I've been curious about how other people do it because it was a real learning.

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Yeah.

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And so I've actually been lovely, actually listening to audio books.

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I listen to a lot.

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I used to listen to a lot in the car, so I shall download yours today.

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So I'll be, I'll be really value your feedback.

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Oh yeah, definitely.

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You've got perfect voice for it.

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And I'm assuming already that it's going to be excellent.

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What's interesting about the voice y'all haven't.

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I said that's two group recently, um, attack kind of thing.

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I've taken my voice for granted.

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Um, and of course, since doing the audio book have quite a bit of feedback and

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I was in a taxi in London, restate.

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I was talking to the taxi driver.

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When I got out, he said, he said, you've got a great voice.

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And like, you know, it was kind of a, oh, he said the best reset.

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It's like, you're like, that's fantastic.

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So she's got a very interesting voice,

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but they also said when I was recording the book, Like some

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people's boys gets kind of tired.

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I mean, my voice is probate, but gets tired because of the way they speak.

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I did wonder about that.

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I did six days recording that book and I, my voice didn't bait.

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And they said it's because of the tone, my voice.

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And so that was quite interesting because I was expecting, because if I'm talking

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to groups, sometimes I think then I raise my voice in a, not a very efficient way.

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And I do kind of find my voice gets tired, but the audio didn't,

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which was, which was a bonus.

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I know one thing that you do take notice off his language.

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Um, could you.

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Explain a little bit about that.

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And maybe in the current times, how language is affecting perspective

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and shaping where we are.

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Gosh, but it totally just generally doesn't speak most

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significant at the moment.

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So I do believe that and what we think and the way we speak shapes our experience,

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it shapes the way we respond to that.

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And I think this is such a temptation to think things and problems,

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um, as opposed to looking at the price, if I take an example, which

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is connected to the pandemic, but it's not the, the real of it.

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The fact is I am in grunting and how many people have assumed.

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I must be finding that difficult and I must be fine on that.

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And I wouldn't know what to do.

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It's interesting.

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What assumptions or presuppositions people about situations and

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therefore about themselves.

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So they expect, I think the balance is for people to expect not good

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worst in all the situations.

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I mean, Really enjoying crunchy.

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Um, I like the self dominion, GSE, and never alone in India, but the facts,

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the gates can stay closed, Mike and gets on with things, peaceful climate.

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I know that's not good for everybody or horrible hotel expenses, but it's like

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if we expect things to be not okay.

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Expect.

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Yeah.

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And it's astonishing to me to settle on television.

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They they're just shocking.

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The very simple things like, um, the last time I was in UK, they said, you

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know, well, once people make it, so the use of these were just disgraceful,

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but people in those positions.

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Of the impact of what they're saying, it's dangerous, but

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they're saying at times, yeah.

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Yeah.

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I mean, I can relate a little bit because I spent Christmas day on my own.

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And when I do that, I look at it as a spar day opportunity, but

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I've got all of my friends saying, oh, are you going to be arrived?

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You know, is a major thing, but yeah.

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Yes.

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But you assigned to spec.

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Well, in fact, my son organized for me.

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One of his friends to call the opening background.

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It's like, so, you know, soon as he had mates, I was leaving the next

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day, early in the morning, so I was prepared and it wasn't lovely time.

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I spent with his friends before lunch.

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Um, but yeah, interesting assumption that you must be with people find big and

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where it was Christmas day, to be honest.

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So in India, you have a new training that you're doing online, that you've

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just written the newsletter about.

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Can you tell us a bit about that?

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Um, we already had shed jeweled and in person program, like an eight day

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intensive, typically for people who might come into a scholarship that must've

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practitioner training the training.

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Um, so we already have those.

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And then we're getting people saying concerns about chocolate.

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So, um, and so we thought about making this a hybrid and then we thought,

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well, why don't we do some special, you know, something specific, um, online

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priority, if anybody wants to come to camp, but we've never actually made

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it the second one, but three days.

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Just an online program.

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And I was inspired by listening to some of the

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by the comedy comedian talking about his identity.

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And I was so inspired by his words and his way of living and how it,

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he lipsticks it in all circumstance.

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And I was thinking, yeah, this is, this is the opportunity because people are going

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when I lost them and making decisions because they have to, or they want to

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about their lives because of the back.

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And here's an opportunity to help them crystallize that.

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So if he's reading that I have thinking, oh yeah.

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And how, what unique words you'd use it, know his book.

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He describes himself as, um, windswept and interesting.

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I'm like, look, you keep use a lot of really don't words

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to describe things in life.

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And I think it's a time to be exotic, to be unique words, to fire your imagination.

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When you're thinking about yourself going forward in the future.

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I mean, how else do you get to live an exciting life that

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presupposes people want to live?

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The next slide?

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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I love that.

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I love the bit about eye density.

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And as you say, assess, think this has been an opportunity for people to

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really reflect on who they truly are.

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Um, yes, sometimes.

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Yeah.

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Sometimes we can put in, in the corner, if you like gets you to question

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everything, these people working at home for many people, it's, you know,

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they, some people have not liked it, but I've had the last piece of.

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Yeah, and I have loved working on zoom.

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Do I go to the last thing?

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Let me find that tricky.

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You know, I think it's wonderful now.

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I don't have to make people coffee anymore.

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It's wonderful because flexibility of being able to bring in guests and people

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can just join and they haven't got ethics.

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So, um, I think a lot of people have been forced in a way to discover

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what they do and they don't mind and many have made decisions.

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So I think on that basis, they don't go back to that or it can't go back to that.

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So we're going to do instead of, so have you come up with a phrase

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to describe your items city?

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Not really yet.

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Um, I mean, so I'm a work in progress, which is the ideal,

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but program like that, cause I'm working on myself at the same time.

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Yeah.

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Um, I don't necessarily want to graze.

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I, I, um, have got very strong thoughts about how I am and how

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I wanted to keep developing.

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Um, and so that example of a funny comedy gate, but for you to just, just

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say what you like, which is very like productive coaching, you said if he

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had given up to want to be liked to do this, that's going to get in the way,

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um, to be able to speak the truth.

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So it's not so.

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And I was also very impressed by, I like watching some reality shows.

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I mean, that's how people got to study behavior by like the monument,

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uh, strictly come dancing and, um, those ailing to affect a full name.

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But the deck lady, cause it's an actress was dancing and couldn't hear the music

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and yet she won and her whole approach.

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Which was to influence that community, to show the things were possible.

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And some of the decisions that they made about the dancing, that whole way of

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being so, um, and she had a humor on the cake it's Boone with the way she spoke

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and the way she used sign language.

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There's something about hats.

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I really, I thought.

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I don't have that kind of purity, but I'd love to aspire to that.

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So there are people who particularly recently come into my experience by

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the director, Linda, which is all about modeling excellence, you know, the people.

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Um, so I'm on definitely.

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Yeah, I've got very strong thoughts about that without necessarily having overall

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label, which is always a good thing.

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Anyway, just talking about NLP.

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I know that we are having worked with a couple of schools of NLP.

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What I really love about.

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You and your relationship to NLP is it is experiential.

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It is living.

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It is, um, reading every situation really, and, and, you know, being aware.

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Um, do you want to expand on that, on, on your philosophy around, um, you're

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modeling the term modeling, which is it.

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I think under a misunderstanding about what

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dress that is a process of stitching, particularly excellence may not make

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sense to some people structure it, presupposes that we kind of coat

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with the structure, understand the structure of an experience, particularly

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exclusively studying how people.

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Sabotage themselves, for example, know how you're doing that.

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You have a choice, right?

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Um, but particularly accents, that's the home study except the

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excellence within yourself, which often goes unrecognized people.

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But I think the consequences of doing that over the years is that I notice

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that in other people much more than I ever have done, I would never.

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The structure of excellence and people

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just coming in here.

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The guy who used to drive me around a lot in India, came to pick me up at

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the apple, even though he hasn't got his car on the road, because he hasn't

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been able to have some tough business, he hasn't been able to afford this.

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And yet he found a way to get to them without telling

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me I was thinking you much.

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And some people could say, could you pick me up for that?

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I would say Obregon, sorry, su.com anymore.

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You know, so you don't have to contact the taxi.

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And he didn't.

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And I thought that dedication,

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same with the guy who is the owner of the place, where I'm staying.

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No, he brings me breakfast and breakfast.

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He goes to a place that I love, but it's some distance away.

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I love the breakfast and his attention to taking care of me is outstanding.

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Um, when you think of places who would just do a kind of good job,

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but these are people who are doing even in difficult circumstances.

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Outstanding thing really unsettling.

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I mean, they're not difficult to notice.

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Um, I don't think, but I think I, I notice that people in a way I

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never would have done and I think I probably took a lot more things

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for granted, even look for that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That's fascinating.

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I find that it's one of the things for me over the last few years with being

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pretty remote and on my own, it's the only person I get to critique myself,

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which is not always a good thing.

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Rather than critique yourself, you could celebrate I'm learning.

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I have changed it around.

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And what I was going to say was, I think that might be a challenge for a lot

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of people who suddenly find themselves in more of an isolated situation.

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Yeah.

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I think you do come face to face with yourself and your patterns.

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Some of the external in, I mean, there are external influences, obviously

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the circumstances, but you're more spending time with self it's.

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Like, what do you do with yourself?

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And that's where those choices come in as well.

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Is that how you frame and your perspective on that?

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Exactly.

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And I've, I've used that term frame and reframe a lot, you know,

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My experience being warranty of on different social media sites.

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And people said that reframe as it's a reframing quarantine

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in different situations can be.

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Yeah.

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Um, so yeah, you know, these things are so possible when we realize.

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That you can't change circumstances.

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We influence.

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We can change the way we think about therefore we'll change our experience.

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It was a possibility coming to India.

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Cause some of those very interesting somebody who can, um, who I know

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well said, well, you know, we're hearing that some people being

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refused entry, but that'd be great when it's a fly all the way to.

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And then be told you can't come in and I was prepared for that,

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but, well, how do I bring this?

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This happens, but it was very interesting because I did say to

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this person, well, some people are being met, but some people are not.

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So it's yeah, it's kind of hit and miss.

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So I'm hearing stories about things.

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Well, I'd like to hear the stories about the people who do get

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seen, and what's the difference.

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So it's not for me as an NLP approach.

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You want to know that you want to know what works and you want to

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say, what's the difference between the baths and the rats rather than

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have, you know, potentially worrying me by saying we're hearing stories.

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She could have said, well, you know, that's what I was going to tell me.

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Those could use exceeded.

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And what contributed to that?

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Um, That's not what she did.

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It's funny.

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I remember when I was coming to India to, to see you.

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Um, I was due to arrive on the 1st of January and I traveled to Manchester

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to get my visa on the 23rd of December.

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So it was the first chance I had, because I'd been out of the country before that.

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Um, I turned up on the day and similar to you, I was listening to all of the people

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in front of me being told that there was no chance that they would get their

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visa with, you know, within two weeks.

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Um, but I wasted anyway.

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And when I went to the desk, instead of saying, no, I really

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need to, you know, can you do it?

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I just said, is it worth me applying?

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Oh, yes.

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We'll expedite that.

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We'll put it in an envelope and get assigned.

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And it was, it was just because I hadn't assumed or demanded or,

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you know, had the perspective that it was my right to be there.

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And I just asked, well, as it was applying, um, it was a different

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attitude and a different response.

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I mean, it it's ingesting by listening to people, phones and things being demanding.

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Challenging the lights.

Speaker: 00:23:26

What?

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Show them building any rapport.

Speaker: 00:23:31

If I same for me with the bees, because potentially I could have got an Ebenezer.

Speaker: 00:23:37

Um, but the, um, Indian embassy stopped issuing them.

Speaker: 00:23:46

So I went well have usual one in the passport, which had been being

Speaker: 00:23:52

issued in about three or four days.

Speaker: 00:23:55

Then when I went to buy it, they said it's two weeks after 15 days.

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And that was beyond the time.

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Like, so yeah.

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So I have thought so I, I moved my flights.

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Um, so I have the time to get the reason that it was.

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And then I said, look, well, you know, whatever happens, I have an agency evil

Speaker: 00:24:19

and they said, we'll do what we can to get through within about four days back again,

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that's NLP flexibility.

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It's being able to, I'd say it's being able to accept and deal with.

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Yeah, because getting into a state, doesn't tell you anybody.

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So how to manage state to be in balance, whatever happens.

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And I'm not saying I'm not, but I sat down not much, much more

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than myself to my youngest son.

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Very different.

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And it's so impulsive now with everything changing minute by minute,

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um, and lots of different ways.

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And it's, it's important for health and stress levels.

Speaker: 00:25:12

All the many problems helpline.

Speaker: 00:25:15

So how to do that, it's not new.

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Some people might say, oh, pull yourself together.

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You're white, but that's not enough.

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I nameless to that.

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Have to do them.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I'm making that and being aware enough to have that

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choice in that moment to do yes.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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It's somebody else that I used to train, but mostly the students say

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you can, you know what you're doing?

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You can do it.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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That's very deep.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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I'm definitely learning more about how I do things being on my own so much.

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And when it's what works and what doesn't.

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So yes, once you know that.

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Yeah, you will default typically to what works and you've got

Speaker: 00:26:21

contrast clear, specific conscience.

Speaker: 00:26:24

Usually then default to that word that she really wants to mess yourself up.

Speaker: 00:26:30

And you can do that with excellence.

Speaker: 00:26:33

I've done that.

Speaker: 00:26:39

Um, just moving on to.

Speaker: 00:26:43

Three-day training.

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Cause I'm really curious.

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Cause, um, it's, it's about identity.

Speaker: 00:26:51

It's about, it's about being self.

Speaker: 00:26:55

That's the kind of unique self that's really connected with all that,

Speaker: 00:27:01

without the fact agent and limit, that was going to be my question.

Speaker: 00:27:06

Is that what it was?

Speaker: 00:27:07

No, no, no, that's fine.

Speaker: 00:27:09

Is it really about, truly about being who you are them?

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So, I mean, you could say, you know, we are who we are as well, but it's

Speaker: 00:27:20

like, there was, there was a bad.

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Which is developed, which develops and grows as well on which

Speaker: 00:27:28

we can be from time to time.

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And maybe sometimes not as often as we were, which, and it's, how do we be that?

Speaker: 00:27:39

How do we discover how that is maintain and be that and live, live that way.

Speaker: 00:27:47

So rather than, so it is about letting go of Backpage and.

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Limiting ways of thinking speaking behavior so that we can be ourselves,

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which is the most theoretically it's easiest way to be there.

Speaker: 00:28:07

Isn't the choice that people seem to find.

Speaker: 00:28:12

But it's the most successful way to be

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personally, I found a struggle with being myself because there's been a demand

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to be who other people expect me to be.

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So obviously being on my own, but that's dropped away.

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So that's been really nice.

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And by myself there often is.

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What other people want us to be, that should do something.

Speaker: 00:28:44

Um, and we do have a choice in how we take on those ships take off,

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you know, what's really important.

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So it's that shift from being dependent on other people that they find.

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I mean, I find it interesting.

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Well, the rules have changed and what we're supposed to do now.

Speaker: 00:29:07

Well, do what you think is saying, it's like, why wait some idiot in power.

Speaker: 00:29:16

Now we see the new, different stage of the rulings that come in

Speaker: 00:29:21

UK and the lack of adherence to those rulings, they themselves.

Speaker: 00:29:26

And so why do people complain about that?

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And just instead of.

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Well, I know what I need to do to keep myself safe.

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Um, if there was an underlying positive for me about all of this, is that call

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back to pure responsibility for yourself?

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Yes.

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I just think, well, why wait?

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I mean, that's a strong cut.

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I think even when we were thinking about this program, I hope he doesn't mind

Speaker: 00:30:00

me saying, but you know, my colleague says, what should we ask people?

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What they want myself so that, you know,

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because people don't know what they don't know what they need do.

Speaker: 00:30:13

What is important to us.

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Yes.

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If you take the economy such a, has been such a wild, you know,

Speaker: 00:30:19

extreme character's appearance and it's, it's a whole way of behaving.

Speaker: 00:30:26

And people love him for who he is and there's people who don't, but

Speaker: 00:30:30

people are John's for who he is not for what he thinks he should be.

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He doesn't go out and ask people what they want in checks.

Speaker: 00:30:39

He just accepted.

Speaker: 00:30:40

So that's the key, you know, it's the field, um, the film, you build a field

Speaker: 00:30:47

and they will come, you know, wait for them to come in and build the field.

Speaker: 00:30:50

That's the whole thing about the women's cricket.

Speaker: 00:30:52

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:30:53

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:30:53

Great space.

Speaker: 00:30:55

And then the people who are drawn to what you represent and the

Speaker: 00:30:58

moral connected you are with that more likely more than income.

Speaker: 00:31:03

It's not the other way around.

Speaker: 00:31:05

Yeah.

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I, I can completely relate to that in terms of getting my online business,

Speaker: 00:31:11

because I know that the, the, the big failure on my path is to.

Speaker: 00:31:19

Choose a space, choose a niche, choose an audience, choose what I want to teach.

Speaker: 00:31:24

And I spent too much time asking and trying to look at the feedback

Speaker: 00:31:31

to see where the audiences and

Speaker: 00:31:37

that you, you put yourself in a total, you know, sort of bind that

Speaker: 00:31:41

because they're going to have to have different views what you're going to do.

Speaker: 00:31:44

You know, some people will think that use all fake.

Speaker: 00:31:47

Just do what you want cheesy.

Speaker: 00:31:51

And it's taken me.

Speaker: 00:31:52

That's, you know, the, the podcast is what I want.

Speaker: 00:31:56

Um, it's not got a huge audience that's getting there and the, the

Speaker: 00:32:02

more I do it, the more I open up.

Speaker: 00:32:04

So it's a constant learning for me about being, if you take your mind

Speaker: 00:32:08

off, what size is the audience?

Speaker: 00:32:13

Um, and you just do what you love and you did.

Speaker: 00:32:15

I enjoy that.

Speaker: 00:32:16

And it was that for me then the other things where if it's appropriate,

Speaker: 00:32:21

we'll come with us everywhere is if you've, well, I've got to get

Speaker: 00:32:25

so many people on the program or have to have a sizable audience.

Speaker: 00:32:28

I have to have this many followers.

Speaker: 00:32:30

It's the wrong place.

Speaker: 00:32:33

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:32:34

That's the.

Speaker: 00:32:36

Backfires on itself.

Speaker: 00:32:39

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:32:39

Yeah.

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I haven't been doing that at all.

Speaker: 00:32:42

I've just been producing what I felt was important to say at the time.

Speaker: 00:32:48

So you feel good?

Speaker: 00:32:51

You feel good about

Speaker: 00:32:57

that?

Speaker: 00:32:57

Rose in the dancing strictly come down.

Speaker: 00:33:04

I don't, it's not important to me when I went, um, I want to know that I'm

Speaker: 00:33:09

being an example of deaf, deaf people in the world to show that my conducts

Speaker: 00:33:15

knew about being able to hear the music that you can do anything basically shit.

Speaker: 00:33:19

And she was saying this when she reached to finals and she said, I'm achieving,

Speaker: 00:33:27

you know, it's not about winning this.

Speaker: 00:33:30

And then she did go on.

Speaker: 00:33:34

Um, so that's what we have to gain.

Speaker: 00:33:40

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:33:41

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker: 00:33:43

What, and one of the things I'm learning about the podcast is

Speaker: 00:33:46

that I love interviewing yet.

Speaker: 00:33:49

I've resisted doing that on the advice of other people.

Speaker: 00:33:53

Who've said this too many interfering podcasts out there and

Speaker: 00:33:56

I'm thinking, well, actually I love that the most I enjoy it the most.

Speaker: 00:33:59

So it's something I'm doing more of this yet.

Speaker: 00:34:02

You'll have a unique way of doing it.

Speaker: 00:34:04

Yes.

Speaker: 00:34:06

I mean, you are you're me.

Speaker: 00:34:09

And you're interfering me on the basis of knowing me and spent time with me

Speaker: 00:34:16

because most people do interviews.

Speaker: 00:34:17

Now I haven't gone to buckets.

Speaker: 00:34:21

I've had some dreadful ones.

Speaker: 00:34:23

Let's see.

Speaker: 00:34:25

Why are you asking me this question?

Speaker: 00:34:28

Where's your coming from a very nice.

Speaker: 00:34:33

I'm from a place of, although we haven't spoken maybe for a

Speaker: 00:34:37

couple of years, but we connected.

Speaker: 00:34:39

Nevertheless, we continue to connect.

Speaker: 00:34:42

So there's things like that make the difference.

Speaker: 00:34:46

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:34:48

The audio book it's version four of NLP at work.

Speaker: 00:34:55

What changed in this version?

Speaker: 00:34:59

Um, the publisher.

Speaker: 00:35:03

If I noticed the covers very different.

Speaker: 00:35:05

I almost a discussion about maintaining my style, the color and the birds.

Speaker: 00:35:19

What changed was, was that decided time for another day.

Speaker: 00:35:27

And I contrast this edition with, let's say the first one and the second one.

Speaker: 00:35:33

Um, it's like my training.

Speaker: 00:35:36

I, it comes from a very personal base and I've used more examples

Speaker: 00:35:42

with my own personal, like my own situation in this one than ever before.

Speaker: 00:35:50

Um, you know, I've talked about things I think, uh, in terms of my experience.

Speaker: 00:35:58

So I would say that's the biggest difference.

Speaker: 00:36:01

Um, there isn't, there is a chapter in the things and some of the chapters,

Speaker: 00:36:06

but it's the same cool book, but it's.

Speaker: 00:36:11

A lot, I'd say the third and the fourth edition.

Speaker: 00:36:14

There's a lot of similarities, opposites, same extra chapter in the fourth

Speaker: 00:36:20

edition and different case studies.

Speaker: 00:36:24

And then each chapter that's got some refine things that I've learned

Speaker: 00:36:28

from, I would say differently.

Speaker: 00:36:31

Um, Um, there was some things I didn't really like because of this, the new rules

Speaker: 00:36:37

of committed folks and very last minute.

Speaker: 00:36:41

Can you take the quotes out?

Speaker: 00:36:43

That's a pretty fundamental

Speaker: 00:36:48

quotes of people who were dead long enough to be able to use that word, because if

Speaker: 00:36:52

it would take too long to get permissions.

Speaker: 00:36:54

So there were a few things that weren't ideal.

Speaker: 00:36:57

Um, I used a lot more room in quotes because it's debt.

Speaker: 00:37:03

I love these quotes, but I think I balanced it out with a few of them.

Speaker: 00:37:06

Different ones.

Speaker: 00:37:11

So, are you planning any more books this year?

Speaker: 00:37:14

Um, I it's very interesting having done deal here.

Speaker: 00:37:20

It was a big lie.

Speaker: 00:37:21

Let's do them normally with those kinds of books they often get, or

Speaker: 00:37:26

they have had professional read it.

Speaker: 00:37:30

I've been asked a lot of times to myself and I don't know whether you do that.

Speaker: 00:37:38

It's very different.

Speaker: 00:37:39

Have to read something to say, be able to say something as you're reading

Speaker: 00:37:44

it correctly and totally clearly, um, that it really took a couple of

Speaker: 00:37:52

chapters to learn how to do that.

Speaker: 00:37:55

Um, cause you can't make a mistake.

Speaker: 00:37:58

Do the go button.

Speaker: 00:37:59

That's going to add a lot to the time that you keep doing.

Speaker: 00:38:03

To say the words clearly enough that anybody in any culture who

Speaker: 00:38:07

understands English can understand it.

Speaker: 00:38:10

And she's, I think about doing the one word that I slurred or the one

Speaker: 00:38:15

bit that I would slap more things and I'll be, I go out because I say it

Speaker: 00:38:19

so often that I'll be nigga and LP.

Speaker: 00:38:22

So if you listen to the book and LP is the study of experience.

Speaker: 00:38:29

So, so having done.

Speaker: 00:38:32

Um, I'm the parts of the book I got this, I didn't buy that

Speaker: 00:38:37

with the idea of new reading.

Speaker: 00:38:39

It's the future.

Speaker: 00:38:39

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:38:40

There's things that bullet points.

Speaker: 00:38:41

So they don't lend themselves to being with story.

Speaker: 00:38:44

Do I discovered this?

Speaker: 00:38:46

I really enjoy reading, telling stories and really enjoyed it.

Speaker: 00:38:52

And so I thought that would influence the style of another book.

Speaker: 00:38:57

Um, the one book, I suppose, I've kind of.

Speaker: 00:39:03

I feel like, oh, it's parity to voice back to coaching therapy.

Speaker: 00:39:11

There's not many books on that.

Speaker: 00:39:16

Very old, very interesting book.

Speaker: 00:39:20

Um, and it's had such an influence on my life, my way of work.

Speaker: 00:39:27

And I've started it before and it's, it's quite a, quite a chunk.

Speaker: 00:39:33

That's the wall.

Speaker: 00:39:33

I think that I would point that was also inspired by Billy

Speaker: 00:39:39

comedy talking about his life.

Speaker: 00:39:41

I did start recording some episodes, my own life, been there when the

Speaker: 00:39:48

Beatles first formed in the bull.

Speaker: 00:39:49

For example, your time in the Catholic, you know, there was some really key

Speaker: 00:39:52

times and tea and I thought, Hmm.

Speaker: 00:39:57

I specifically thinks about that, whether that's interested now,

Speaker: 00:40:04

I think, um, thinking about your life and what I know of you, what

Speaker: 00:40:11

I would be interested in is how.

Speaker: 00:40:15

You've evolved on your journey with NLP as well.

Speaker: 00:40:19

So how'd that the parallel between your learning and on your own life as

Speaker: 00:40:24

well and how they've both influenced

Speaker: 00:40:34

because they have, I do often think back to those teenage times.

Speaker: 00:40:40

Crikey, you know, I have to control basically most of the time, um, um,

Speaker: 00:40:48

got not a good time, but I think I probably have the best of all worlds.

Speaker: 00:40:55

I have a good time.

Speaker: 00:40:58

Can you have a good time if you're studying people's lives?

Speaker: 00:41:00

Well, yes, absolutely.

Speaker: 00:41:01

You know, It just brings the challenge.

Speaker: 00:41:08

Isn't it, especially with the provocative, which is about

Speaker: 00:41:11

having the state of amusement.

Speaker: 00:41:13

It's very freeing.

Speaker: 00:41:16

So, um,

Speaker: 00:41:20

can you say a little bit more about provocative for people

Speaker: 00:41:24

who aren't aware of provocative?

Speaker: 00:41:26

Yes.

Speaker: 00:41:27

Um,

Speaker: 00:41:32

Vocative it's like, it's like when you friends, if you with a very good

Speaker: 00:41:37

friend, um, and instead of reassuring them, you think would be okay, you

Speaker: 00:41:43

sort of poke them a little bit, you know, and say, well, come on.

Speaker: 00:41:46

You know, or to expect, um, he played the devils on the coast, the 10 foot

Speaker: 00:41:53

buckets, it as Frankie as it was, he would describe his to provoke

Speaker: 00:41:57

a healing response at new kind of.

Speaker: 00:42:00

And joke and cajole the devil's up seven, get rescued in such a way

Speaker: 00:42:09

that they find the truth themselves.

Speaker: 00:42:12

It's saying, well, I'm not going to succeed at this.

Speaker: 00:42:16

You go, won't show you all.

Speaker: 00:42:18

You, that's not going to help you.

Speaker: 00:42:23

I remember Frank one saying somebody, well, not all the seeds in a garden blue.

Speaker: 00:42:29

Person's like, oh Joe.

Speaker: 00:42:33

So they, they sort of pushed them to that point.

Speaker: 00:42:37

Lots of people who are in the coaching role, I think lots of

Speaker: 00:42:42

people, new to coaching feel that they've got to protect somebody, you

Speaker: 00:42:47

know, that they can't push though.

Speaker: 00:42:48

Cause they might get accomplished in the next, it might get.

Speaker: 00:42:52

Will you put the push in that, to the edge that they find the

Speaker: 00:42:56

truth for themselves journey.

Speaker: 00:42:58

If you stop them before they get that.

Speaker: 00:43:04

And so provocative the best boy I came up with together, as it's like

Speaker: 00:43:10

drilling for oil, you keep drilling until you find where the oil is,

Speaker: 00:43:16

because usually the, that point.

Speaker: 00:43:20

The points that most people keep hidden because they're on aware of, I guess.

Speaker: 00:43:24

Well, yes.

Speaker: 00:43:26

And so having the ability to say the things that people think

Speaker: 00:43:31

about themselves, as well as the activity, there's a lot of humor.

Speaker: 00:43:35

It's not all humor, but there is a lot of humor to be able to laugh.

Speaker: 00:43:44

Yeah, one thing that I want to bring more off to the podcast,

Speaker: 00:43:50

because I do recognize that transformation occurs in humor as well.

Speaker: 00:43:58

Even if transformation is what we call nominalization.

Speaker: 00:44:03

Absolutely.

Speaker: 00:44:03

But yeah, it's finding that thing when you can laugh at yourself

Speaker: 00:44:09

about something, you can get that.

Speaker: 00:44:13

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker: 00:44:19

You could do with some healing at the moment.

Speaker: 00:44:21

And I think that's another generalization presupposes.

Speaker: 00:44:28

You're not getting it.

Speaker: 00:44:29

I'm getting it.

Speaker: 00:44:31

I am having, especially, especially here at India view, um, for me, I

Speaker: 00:44:39

experienced it as a very healing place in terms of culture, bitchiness and food.

Speaker: 00:44:48

Yogurt.

Speaker: 00:44:49

Will you be doing the yoga on the beach?

Speaker: 00:44:51

That's the question?

Speaker: 00:44:54

I don't know.

Speaker: 00:44:55

Actually, we, we can, we will be, I've been doing yoga outside and

Speaker: 00:45:01

God my, because I call it meeting in person with my teacher online.

Speaker: 00:45:09

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:45:12

So watching the dog while doing yoga.

Speaker: 00:45:19

Excellent.

Speaker: 00:45:21

If you had one piece of wisdom to share for people who maybe are struggling

Speaker: 00:45:28

at this time, what would that be?

Speaker: 00:45:33

Hm.

Speaker: 00:45:41

I would say, think of someone who's handling situations in the way that

Speaker: 00:45:49

you would wish to pay, identify some, either somebody that you can

Speaker: 00:45:57

connect or reconnect with somebody in your past, what would they do?

Speaker: 00:46:04

How would they.

Speaker: 00:46:06

And stepped into that shoes.

Speaker: 00:46:10

It might be you and

Speaker: 00:46:15

you, you, you do, and you wouldn't be able to think about it.

Speaker: 00:46:21

Sometimes people find it easier to recognize in others.

Speaker: 00:46:25

So like, who's your, you know, whether they are.

Speaker: 00:46:33

But they can be actually meant so that you put yourself in.

Speaker: 00:46:39

When I first went independent, um, and I was really challenging

Speaker: 00:46:44

groups in engineering companies.

Speaker: 00:46:45

And so I do work with this consultant, Charles.

Speaker: 00:46:49

I know he could handle these situations.

Speaker: 00:46:50

I go, what would Charles do?

Speaker: 00:46:53

And I studied with Gina, so I got to go or GG.

Speaker: 00:46:59

I would, frankly.

Speaker: 00:47:00

So I have those people who are resources on their pots, me, like I

Speaker: 00:47:07

step into their shoes and I take on some of their way of being, which

Speaker: 00:47:11

breeds it, frees those things up.

Speaker: 00:47:13

And my son that's really powerful.

Speaker: 00:47:16

Thank you.

Speaker: 00:47:19

Well, thank you for the chat today.

Speaker: 00:47:22

It's been a pleasure connecting and catching up.

Speaker: 00:47:26

Yes, it has been.

Speaker: 00:47:29

Thank you for your gentle and yet, um, insightful incisive questions.

Speaker: 00:47:39

I hope we can do it again soon and good luck with the training and with all of the

Speaker: 00:47:45

experience of India, I'm quite jealous.

Speaker: 00:47:48

Yes.

Speaker: 00:47:49

Well, I'll share as much I share it.

Speaker: 00:47:51

I think I'm dissing people with my texts.

Speaker: 00:47:59

So to where can people connect with you?

Speaker: 00:48:02

I know you're on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Speaker: 00:48:05

Yes.

Speaker: 00:48:06

Um, and then there's my own, but YouTube and Instagram, um,

Speaker: 00:48:13

they put sunitinib and all.

Speaker: 00:48:17

Okay.

Speaker: 00:48:17

My website is, um, Sue night.com and then it's links to all those other things.

Speaker: 00:48:24

Okay.

Speaker: 00:48:24

I'll put all of the links in the show notes available in UK, on audible, but not

Speaker: 00:48:31

all parts as well, but it's all the sites like Google play and, um, apple as well.

Speaker: 00:48:38

So.

Speaker: 00:48:39

well, thank you.

Speaker: 00:48:40

Thank you very much.

Speaker: 00:48:42

Take care and hope to speak to you again, sleep excellent.